Revenge of the Nerds at CPAC

Last year's Conservative Political Action Conference confused and frightened me a little. A radical conservative organization that supports equal rights for gays, and a far-right group that has advocated pulling the United States out of the United Nations co-sponsored the conference. The right-wing establishment was openly accepting support from the freaks and geeks way past the fringes of its rank and file. GOP stalwarts of a more traditional bent were naturally nervous, but instead of being glad to see the mainstream movement open its arms to the underground, I too had a sinking feeling.

The religious right was turned off by the queers, and neo-conservatives twitched just thinking about a U.N. dominated by any country but America. Republicans of my father's generation thought these "conservatives" were too socially progressive to be in the club. Meanwhile I worried that these "social progressives" were conservative wolves in rainbow colored sheep's clothes. Bleating "Don't tread on me!" and driving the herd further to the right. At last year's conference the CPAC gurus also honored the Tea Party movement by linking it Ronald Reagan's legacy. The political right was getting more conservative, which makes me grit my teeth.

So this year when I Googled CPAC, I covered my eyes with one hand and peeked through two fingers like a kid watching a slasher movie as I hit return. But I must be desensitized now. Instead of being horrified I'm thrilled to report that the handsome, although slightly cross-eyed, devil pictured above in the skull and crossbones neck kerchief is running for Senate. That's Maine blogger, musician, novelist, and nerd Andrew Ian Dodge.

Dodge, a self-proclaimed "rocker" writes cheesy conservative anthems with titles like "Cry Freedom" which includes the catchy refrain "Don't let the bastards drag you down!," sung with 80s hair-band flair and accompanied by the guitar rhythm associated with the genre. And what follows is a description of one of his novels from Amazon.com:

The year is 2034. Power lies in Europe with the bureaucrats in Brussels and London is the centre for the Western Provinces.

The Supremo Manipulator of this conglomerate of nations is Pius. With no religious connections and a diminishing hold on power the Union is sustained by nepotism, violence and musical chairs of political appointees. The disintegration of the Union is imminent.

Rob, an English tech nerd together with his accomplice David, have to use their cyborg intelligence to survive in this oppressive Euro society in the Western Provinces. The assassination of Teresa, Rob's girlfriend, and a busload of tourists along with the murder of a Czech student at Hull European University, provide the catalyst for Rob and David's dangerous involvement. Together with their minders, Michaela and Kiara, they head full speed into their deadly adventure. Death is catching.

With a touch of humor, a satirical political edge, characters that you come to know well and a flowing writing style take the reader through a techno-thriller deep into the 21st century. We see the ambivalence of the revolutionaries, who never intended serious action, faced with orders to destroy and kill. Europe will never be the same again ...

I can't make this stuff up. This Tea Party affiliate, who announced his Senate run against Olympia Snowe at the conference, actually got a "permit" from the local delegation for Snowe removal. I'll leave it to more witty punsters to say whether Dodge has snoweball's chance in hell. And I probably won't be following his campaign, but I hope The Daily Show with Jon Stewart was paying attention to CPAC this year. Because whatever his political future, Dodge is ripe for parody.